My friend changed some things around on her blog and it inspired me to do the same! I think in the next few posts, I will talk about my saving grace - Ayden.
I've always said "Without him, I'd be dead" and I feel like I'm ready to talk about it.
Keep an open mind with me here as I am a horrible writer and I ramble a lot. I wish I was like my sister, she can write and bring things to life. It's truly amazing to see her posts and I envy that. I truly have a desire to write well..
Almost 8 years now have passed since I met "him". I will refer to him as "him" because I hate mentioning his name. He was suave. He was handsome. He told me things I wanted to hear and I bought every little piece of a lie he told me. I spent so much time on his lies believing every word he had to say. He was a professional con-artist. He was good at it, too. I met "him" online. There, I said it.. Now you know, the word is out. I met someone off the internet! He had been watching me for a while and knew all the right things to say to make me comfortable meeting him. He was good at what he did. He fooled me.
The first time we met, I had this horrible feeling in my gut. Something (or someone, ie the Holy Spirit) was telling me to just leave the train station. "Don't let him in your truck. Put it in reverse and leave Angela! LEAVE! " I didn't listen. I stayed. I waited. It was a dark, rainy day - that I do remember. I got out of my truck and gave "him" a hug like we had known each other for years. The devil must've been around because it felt 'okay' at that time.
Looking back at that moment, I realize I could have been killed or raped (well, I was raped but I'll get to that in another post) or raped and left to die. How stupid and naive was I. A 19 year old GIRL went to meet a stranger and let "him" stay in her apartment. S-T-U-P-I-D!
Things went well in the beginning two weeks. We went out at night all the time and had a blast. It was so much fun hanging out with him. He didn't care who I talked to and wasn't jealous - that was all a part of "his" game. He wrapped me in to his game and I fell for it. I really liked hm. He was so nice and charming and said all the right things, for those first two weeks at least.
The third week of our relationship, he started punching me. I didn't take crap like that so I'd punch him back and that would be it. It was like that for a week or so and then things began to get violent - very violent. He would choke me and lock me inside. If I went anywhere near the living room where the only exit was, he'd drag me back into the bedroom. I was in fear for my life.
"Why didn't you tell your mom or sister or someone about this?" you ask.. I was afraid. Any abused woman will tell you they are afraid to say something or to tell someone. I was afraid he would kill me. After all, on multiple occassions, he said he would and I believed everything else he said so why wouldn't this be real too?
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I'll write more later.. This is a place for me to share my life with you. It is not a place for you to pity me or feel sorry for me. I will tell my story and you will see how Ayden came to be in this world. You will see why I call him my Saving Grace. You will know why I am the way I am.
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